No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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