he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
