i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
