I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize