Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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