She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
