I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
