The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
