He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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