WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
