I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
