If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
then he tried to convert me to islam
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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