Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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