Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
