I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize