I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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