Your mouth is God's brothel.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
