Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
