There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
