either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I should be sponsored by Trojan
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
