i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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