she was so not down for the gang bang
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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