R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
