I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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