Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
