I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
