You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You're like the curious george of whores
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
