Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
