Me. At least after what I've been through.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
