I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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