I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize