I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
