he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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