I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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