what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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