As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
