who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
