Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
third nipple confirmed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
