So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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