fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
