I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
