I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
