I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
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