I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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