i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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