I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
