This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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