Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
