I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize