oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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