and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
