I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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