My liver just broke up with me...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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