I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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