is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
