all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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