i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
