I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize