whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize