i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
