Fuck appropriateness.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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