its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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