can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
