She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We need to get me chipped asap
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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