allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
