Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
