yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
