"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
