i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
this hospital has no fireball
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You are the jesus of drinking
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
