CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
