Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
is it fun? or sober?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
